This offer was pretty interesting and very appealing but nothing is ever for free in this life. Even when boys buy just fried rice and chicken for you these days they feel like they are entitled to sleep with you talk less of a house. So I decided to ask another girl in my department called Annie for advise.
Me: Can you imagine this Mr Tade man, how do you just complain to someone about traffic and then get offered a house. I don’t understand.
Annie: Hmm you don’t know that, that is how almost all the men are in this office. How do you think I get all these expensive shoes, bags, even my phone sef. Don’t dull oh, you better take advantage of your situation.
Me: Wow nawa oh, so what do you do for them?
Annie: Well it depends on the guy, many of them just want attention, and someone they can take out and show to their friends, you may not even need to sleep with them. By the way even if you do, many of these old men do not even have stamina, by the time you close you eyes and open them again they are done.
Me: Wow Annie, because of shoes and bags? I don’t mean to judge but come on, get real babe.
Annie: Hmm you have not seen anything yet, if you like still be doing Oyinbo there.
That really struck a nerve and I thought about what she said, but the truth was that I just could not accept that offer. It is so obvious that this guy is going to try and turn me into his Mistress, and yes he is married with two kids even, one of them is almost my age. So it did not cross his mind that she may need some privacy as well right? Why does he just have a spare house so conveniently, specially for me?
This was so painful for me, as I walked to Mr Tade’s office I could just imagine all the late nights I was missing out on without any disturbance, all the ‘smoking sessions’, house parties etc. etc
Damn! That would have been so good, but I knew that I would not be ready when the time inevitably came to pay the piper. In that case, I just had to respect myself and decline the offer from Mr Tade.
Me: Good morning Mr Tade
Tade: Why do you always have to be so formal? I’ve told you, please call me Tade.
Me: Okay Tade, I just came here to tell you that I can’t accept your offer but thank you
Tade: And why is that?
Me: I just don’t feel comfortable with it, and by the way my parents will never allow that kind of arrangement.
Tade: You’re not comfortable? Hmm, you ungrateful little child, well I have tried to help you and you have rejected my help. So I don’t want to hear that you are coming to work late again, in short, any day you come late 2000 naira is going of your salary. Is that clear?
Me: So now I’m a little child? Okay oh yes sir!
* Walks out and slams the door *
Wow, so this is what this country has turned me into? So now I don’t even have the right the not be a ‘runz’ babe again without facing so much hostility? Or am I over thinking this? Was I stupid to reject this offer? Maybe this man really just wanted to help me out. Now he is going to make my life miserable for the rest of my time here, and I am still going to be here for close to a year because this is part of my NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) program, what am I going to do? I wondered.
So I decided to go and see my Aunty, Kofo in Ikoyi, which is also on the Island, she is my Mum’s youngest sister. She is the one person I talk to when I feel like this because she has seen it all; she went through a lot with men but one thing I like about her is that she never settled, now she is happily married to Uncle Bayo and they are expecting a baby boy.
Kofo: Hello darling, long time ohh, how are you?
Me: I know I know, I have just been busy, I’m dealing with a lot of stuff right now
Kofo: What’s up? Sit down darling do you want some cookies?
Aunty Kofo’s cookies, oh my goodness, just like she knew exactly what I needed. Those cookies are TO DIE! in fact that is actually a Business idea for her, ‘Aunty Kofo’s Cookies’ lool.
She brought a bowl of cookies straight from the oven and placed it on the table between us.
Kofo: Now tell me, what is going on?
Me: Hmm aunty where do I start? I have only been in Lagos for over a month and old, married men are already trying to accommodate me and if I say no it’s a problem.
Kofo: Haha welcome to Lagos darling
Me: They speak about Corporate Social Responsibility and Ethical behaviour all day in that office and look at what they are doing. I could expose them you know this is basically sexual harassment!
Kofo: My dear this one you’re saying is English, nobody cares about those kind of things here, you just have to lay low and reduce all this your fine girl behaviour so that they won’t disturb you to much because the truth is no matter where you go you will still see men like this.
Me: I’m just fed up
Kofo: Look you can stay here when you want; there are so many free rooms in this house, ahah next time just tell your problems to the right people.
Me: Haha, thank you Aunty that would be perfect.
Kofo: By the way, how is Femi?
Me: Femi? Please Aunty just stop, I do not want to talk about that boy right now!
Photo credit: Delusional blonde
Photo credit: Paz e amor
See you next week xx